Every morning the woman repeated the ritual. She waited until her husband left for work. She waited for the house to become a quiet and solemn retreat and then she would shower. She tried to wash the pain away and she prepared to face another day. The hot water peppered her body and raced down the drain taking with it all the last vestiges of sleep. She felt good . . . as good as she was likely to feel all day and she wished she could keep this feeling in a tiny flask around her neck to use occasionally as the day wore on.

Julie stepped out of the shower and began to towel herself dry, first her long dark hair, then her arms and legs and belly, finally her feet and back. Then she looked into the mirror on the bathroom wall and stared at the reflection there. She saw herself in the worst possible light, naked and quivering and the negative thoughts began to crowd her mind. "I am so fat," she moaned. She examined the stretch marks on her upper legs and breasts. She counted the flat brown moles that covered her back . . . eleven of them. She turned slightly to one side and noticed that her stomach protruded just enough to counter balance her buttocks in the back as if less in either place would cause her to topple over. Julie shook her body just a little and watched the ripple of flesh as it jiggled in every part of her torso. Feelings of unworthiness and pain filled her mind. It was the same every single day, this ritual. She would examine her imperfect self and grieve for her lost youth. She would criticize herself harshly as she examined each part. She would often cry for a while and then she would begin to make herself promises. Today, I will not eat anything that will make me fat. Today, I will exercise. Today, I will give up cream in my coffee and butter on my toast. Today will be the first day of the rest of my life and I will change just like a beautiful butterfly.

Unfortunately, every day played over and over like an old record because once Julie had dressed and gone downstairs, her emotions were somersaulting with criticism and abuse. These feelings guided her to the kitchen where she would find the only solace she had ever known. Promises made and promises broken but the food tasted so good. Julie knew that she would pay the price later but for now, she just ate. Usually this was the next part of her daily ritual. Usually.

Today played a little differently though for as Julie glanced back into the mirror just before she was to go get dressed, she noticed a distinct grey halo surrounding her entire body. She turned full face into the mirror again to look more closely. Yes. There was a definite grey shadow about three inches thick and it encased her silhouette entirely. As Julie stared into the mirror, she heard a voice. "Julie, you are sweet and beautiful in the eyes of God who made you. Your shape makes no difference to those who love you. You are perfection, a body full of light and love. Stop this self destruction now before it ruins your entire life."

Julie was stunned but could not deny that the voice was real for it was clear and distinct and it echoed about the ceramic bath. A vision appeared in the mirror just above and to the left of Julie's refection . . . the face of an angel . . . the face that Julie instantly recognized as a face she had seen many times in her dreams. The angel face smiled and her eyes swept over Julie's naked body. There was no reaction or revulsion, only love poured forth from her face. The angel spoke once more. "Julie, look carefully into the mirror and tell me what you see"? Julie looked long and hard before replying, "I see my overweight and imperfect body and I am surrounded by a grey layer of something". The angel looked at Julie with eyes of love and responded, "The grey halo is one of your own making, dear. It is the reflection of your thoughts about yourself. Would you like to see what I see when I look at you each morning? Would you like to see what God sees? Julie nodded and watched as her reflection changed before her eyes.

Where an overweight naked woman had stood, reflected in the mirror was a sphere of shining light. The light played and danced over the surface of the mirror and broke into crystals of rainbow colored hues. Julie could no longer see her features. There was no body and no face, just a dazzeling shape filled with sparkeling lights. Julie was overwhelmed with the beauty that was reflected there and as she began to appreciate every aspect of this vision, the grey halo changed to a blue-white light radiating from the outline in the mirror. The angel smiled. "Dear Julie, you have seen yourself in the truest light and you have finally changed your own halo to one which matches your spirit. Keep these thoughts close to your heart and live your life in peace. You may change or you may not change your outer characteristics, but know that whatever you do, you cannot change the perfection that dwells within".

Julie was stunned for as she continued to look at the vision in the mirror, she saw that her body was slowly coming back into focus. For the first time in her life, Julie saw that body as beautiful and the halo surrounding her remained a stunning blue-white light. A healing had taken place that morning for the woman who had always been so hard on herself. She saw the beauty inside for the very first time and she became beautiful outwardly although she did not change her physical self at all. --Susan Duxter

Last year, on January 28, 1996 my home burned and my two children and I, ages 3 and 7 died in this fire. I was revived on my front porch, but unfortunately attempts to revive my two children were unsuccessful.

However, moments before life was breathed back into me, I was able to share an angelic experience with my two children. I was with them in their new form for a short time. What I expereinced then has helped me to go on with my life without them. Knowing that they are okay and happy. I saw my children in a translucent way playing ball. My daughter who was 3 was rolling a ball to my son age 7, and was able to be in my son's arms to catch it with him before the ball reached my son. It was as if she could be in two places at once. As I was above them, watching them play, it was as if I was playing ball with them.

I felt everthing they felt, and they knew I was with them. Their happiness was overwhelming and something that will be with me forever. There was no need for us to talk; we knew what each other were feeling. We were one. They were so bright and angelic. They are my angels. I remember waking up on the porch, not being able to open eyes but, trying to move. All I kept thinking is I need to go back with them. My body felt so heavy. God was good in that, I was the only one burned in the fire, and through my attempts to try and save us, I was able to protect my children. They simply fell asleep.

This experience was so hard to describe, so I found an artist to draw a picture of my two angels and how I saw them. It now hangs in my living room as a reminder of them and that where they are now is a much happier and safer place. I thank God for my angels.

Now I am helping to raise money for a memorial playground at the school my son attended. It will be named The Jimmy & Amanda Brown Memorial Playground. I am in hopes that it will help all the young children deal with the loss of their classmate and little friends.

God was very gracious to me to allow me to see where my children are now. And to feel their happiness for a brief moment. I thank God for my angels.

Someday I hope to write a book that may help others through a rough time like I have experienced. A small way to say thank you. --Rhonda J. Brown

In June of l995, my father-in-law was sent to the hospital from a nearby nursing home where he had been bed-ridden for sometime. He had pneumonia and was dying. Now in his late eighties, he had wished to die but his body still resisted death. The family chose to keep him nourished through IV's rather than let nature take it's course. Also we wanted medication for infection. Not knowing how long our loved one had before his celestial journey, we waited by his bedside, praying for his release from pain an d suffering, but not wanting him to leave us.

During those last days and hours, he lay with eyes open but not speaking or responding to any of the family. We took turns keeping a vigil by his bedside. Always having some spending the night out in the waiting room resting and half-lying on the couches provided by the hospital.

We began to notice a strange tall man who stayed very near to our family and seemed to have no other relatives about him. He never went to eat, smoke, or visit a bathroom, but stayed sitting or lying nearby. He never spoke to anyone or visited any patient's room but kept a vigil throughout the night and morning before my father-in-law died. He was seen up till the time of his death and when we came out of the room, the stranger had disappeared completely and we never saw him again.

My father-in-law had very dry eyes before he died, due to not closing them in his semi-comatose state. That Sunday we had turned on the radio station carrying the service of his church. We heard the pastor ask for prayers for him and our family, and they were singing "Amazing Grace".

My father-in-law breathed his last breath and from his dry eyes, a tear ran down his cheek. Yes, I truly believe there was an angel with our family through our sorrow and because my father-in-law, was a true and faithful servant of the Lord all his life. Thank you, God, for your angels of mercy. --Dorothy Norris